As humans, we jump ahead of Gods plan and try to take hold of the wheel.
Jesus says "I am in control."
We plot our lives minute by minute.
Jesus says "Let me amaze you by how I can transform your life."
We find ways to create a worldly love and satisfaction for ourselves.
Jesus says "Let ME be your everything."
Why do I always find myself trying to be my own god when my Savior is calling me by name to just drop my life and FOLLOW HIM?
While I was living in Hawaii, i had two significant words spoken over me. A man from Cameroon name Jackson, told me the Lord was ready to take me to places i had never expected to go. At this time in my life, I had my eyes fixed on two things, and NOTHING else: go to Biola, or head to South Africa. I wasn't willing to waiver. The verse he gave me was Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."
A girl from another DTS spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over my life, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE." She told me to let God be in control and to not worry about my life because the Lord is excited about His plans for my future. At the time these were spoken over me, I wasn't willing to fully receive them because I was holding out that my plans were going to succeed the Lords. WHY.
I applied for Biola while still in Togo, and received my acceptance letter a few weeks after I returned back to Washington. I was floored, beyond excited, anxious, you name it. This was the best thing that had happened to me since the Lord called me to Africa. At times I said it was even better than that.
The numbers for financial aid came back and the promise of school in Southern California was not looking too promising. I still said, "I'm going no matter what."
Jesus kept telling me to trust in His plans, but i chose not to listen to Him and made myself miserable in the meantime.
Then one night the Lord revealed something to me. He showed me Hebrews 11:13-16,"...not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."
Before I knew it, the Lord was calling me to stay home in Olympia. The moment I chose to receive this was a moment of overwhelming peace. This is where He wanted me all along, I just chose to fight him so that I could have my way. He wasn't trying to be a bully; He was calling me back to my homeland to continue His work. I still don't fully understand it, but i am not going to try to. my God is a good God, and when one door closes, He opens another door that reveals His glory all the more. He is taking me to greater heights, greater distances. And he is giving me a chance to serve in my community, not just in Africa.
I know who my King is, and I know where my Home is. My home is wherever Jesus calls me.
I will gladly go.
To Olympia, and possibly back to Africa....
:)
