ONE year ago.

My, oh my. How the last year has changed!
A year ago I was in Bellingham, and I had NO idea that a short year later, this place would be my home, my love, and my place of incredible ministry. I stumbled upon my application to Western, and thought it'd be fun to share. I spoke of the grace of Jesus on my life while in Africa, and now I see even more how much grace he has bestowed upon my little life here today!

I am not your average twenty year old girl. I became aware of this when I found myself standing in the middle of one of the worlds most devastating slums, called Kroobay in Sierra Leone. Just a month before this time, I was working at a bank, spending time with my boyfriend and going out with my best friends. How had my life taken a complete turn so fast? The poverty knocked the wind out of me. To my right was a river, which served as a laundromat for young mothers, a bathtub for children, and a resting place for pigs. To my left was nearly 10,000 homes made of tin and blankets, and more hunger, abuse and uncertainty than I was ready to face. I started to question what I had stood for. My life was utterly drenched in selfishness. I had heard about the needs of the world, but i was too gripped by own wealth to really pay attention. That was, until now. 

The orphans of the slum, covered in disease and filth, rushed over to me, begging for someone to love them. I picked them up and held them, not even realizing the impact they were about to have on my life. Through various translators, the kids talked to me about the joy that they strived for each day. They talked of having faith that they can overcome their situations, and although their parents had abandoned them, and they didn't have money or any where to go, they knew they were loved.  I held back tears as I looked into their brown eyes and realized that all the worlds riches could not replace this moment. Here were these kids, so desperately longing for something outside of their circumstances. I hadn't a dime to give to them, but even then, they smiled at me and lavished with me their love. I came face to face, for the first time in my life, with the fact that there is more to life than just going through the motions. I didn't know what I was in for, but i was ready. I had applied for many colleges all of my Senior year, but couldn't shake the feeling that my work in Africa wasn't done, and so a year later, that is where I found myself. I was reminded of what it meant to lay down my life for something greater than my own desires. 

I was completely broke, completely vulnerable, yet completely ready to see change made, so i landed myself in the villages of Togo in West Africa for six months. Images of my time in Sierra Leone resinated through my memory as I walked through the villages of Noepe. Kids once again grabbed my hands, eager to teach me more about what it means to love with abandon. I saw communities starting to flourish  as i dove myself into healthcare facilities, schools, and orphanages. Despite riches, there was joy. Despite homes, there was a blanket of peace. My heart was starting to soften to the calling on my life. I had seen too much to ignore the resposibility I had; that was to stand for change, to fight against poverty and to rid of injustice. I had been drenched in grace that i didn't even deserve. I knew at the end of my time in Africa I would go home to a loving family and amazing community, and my desire to see change wasn't just for Africa. My eyes opened to the changes i long to see in my hometown. My passion for people and for love was sparked and i longed to run after them in order to see my dreams through. I am realizing more and more that my life is not my own, and by letting go of the reigns just a little, i was able to experience the overflowing peace of what it meant to serve, to feel love, and to be love.  


God is the coolest person I know. So glad I can call Bellingham home. 

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 

'Pooh!' he whispered. 

'Yes, Piglet?' 

'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"

I am currently sitting in the farthest corner of the library studying for a class that, in all honesty, I really do not care for. It's moments like this that make my restless soul long even more to escape and do what I really love: travel the world. 

My life is constantly changing & I LOVE IT. I have said this to so many people in the past months... But i am finally LIVING and understanding what it means to release the tight grip on my own life and run full on into the plans of Jesus. A dear sister in Christ, so anointed, said this on her blog. If you don't follow Brittney Kimbler, you should. Her words are such a testimony of the Lord's goodness; it's like food to my soul: 

Was reminded through heart whispers to Live Fully. Right here, right now..this moment. That I will never get this time back. That each day is to be celebrated, fully, cheerfully, boldly. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. To be in constant communication through prayer and continual praise with the only One who is always guaranteed, available, present, and able. I don't want to miss out on Him. Worthy and Beautiful, Kind and Generous. To wonder at all that is Life, and to laugh in every opportunity available. To really Live.
As April brings Spring. May we look back at our "goals" and desires for 2012.
My own aspirations of this 2012:
"All of my Life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."
I don't want to have spent a year "Living" only to get to the end and realize my life passed me by. May we Live this April with a continual spirit of Cherishing.

http://ihaveresolved.blogspot.com/


We've only got today, so let's love Jesus and people more than we ever have. 

all along the western front.

I knew this time in my life was coming. To say that it snuck up on me was an understatement. 

Barely six months ago, I was settling into a routine of working at Cutters Point Coffee and getting used to the idea of a few years at South Puget Sound Community College. Somehow after my crazy adventures in Africa and Hawaii, I was okay with being at home for a while. That was, until I discovered Western Washington University. I had applied to go here during my Senior year, then completely abandoned the idea for YWAM. After I returned, the idea was brought up again, but my pride was too big, and had my hearts set on Biola. After that fell through, I was stuck at SPSCC, not ideal, but was affordable. Little did I know that Western was coming back for me. I went up to visit the boy I was dating at the time, and instantly was in awe of the community-- it possessed a similar YWAM culture, and it was at a public university. How had I neglected this place? I returned home, eager to tell my parents my wonderful discovery and to apply, only to find out I was a few days late for the Winter Quarter application deadline. They told me the possibilities of being accepted were slim, due to how full they were. In a sudden spurt of extreme confidence and determination, I told them I would try any way. Two weeks later, after arriving home from class, my mom greets me outside with a large package: my acceptance letter from Western. 

"Well, what are you going to do now?" she asked, "You got accepted!" 

I was in complete shock, only because on the way home I had been crying out to the Lord to reveal Himself, and I was declaring His love over my life. And now, an answer had come. 

You see, from the time I had arrived home from Hawaii to my acceptance into Western, I had been struggling with choosing the joy of the Lord over trying to control my life. I had just gotten to an incredible place of surrender, where I really decided to fix my eyes on Jesus, and take life as He gives it to me, and not to hold on to it so tightly. For so long, I struggled with trying to making my places for my life work. Once I released my grip, I instantly saw how the Lord swooped in and renewed my joy, and took me out of complacent relationships. I was being refined, and being brought back into His light. 

Later that evening, I sat down with my dad to share the good news. He was thrilled, feeling Jesus had been calling me to Bellingham for a while. There was so much peace and hope that came with this decision to transfer schools-- the financial aspect, the credit transfer, the ease of quitting my job, saving money & packing up-- it was as if the Lord had gone before me in every way and set me up to where I had literally no problems at all. 

I am three months into my life at Western and in Bellingham and I am absolutely in love. Sometimes I will sit back, and just say to myself, "Wow, this is what real living is supposed to be like." I spent my winter quarter getting immersed into community-- Ekklesia, small groups, Core groups, Crossfit fitness groups, staying up until the wee morning hours talking with friends-- I feel so unbelievably blessed. The Lord has dropped people into my lap that I get to love and encourage. I am in a place where I feel like my faith is finally being utilized in the way I want it to be. I did not ask to be put in an easy environment, but one where I can shine. He has also brought an amazing group of young women into my life who love the Lord, and now I had the privilege of living with them this summer, as well as next year.

Yep, that's right! This summer. I am a permanent resident of Bellingham. I felt the Lord confirm this long before I had a place to live or a job to support myself. I was just doing life with Him and he started providing. The first step of confirmation came when my friend Lisa, sent me this text: "I just wanted to text you saying I feel like doors to Seattle might be closing and I very well could be in Bellingham for another year. Megan and I were talking last night and if this is true, we want to live together.... with you! We're going to be praying about it and if that's something you'd want next year, we'd love to live with you!"

It's just funny how God works sometimes. Her text to me was confirmation for staying here, and my "YES" response was confirmation that the Lord was asking Lisa to stay in Bellingham. Walking through life with Jesus is fun, but also hard. Staying in Bellingham means Olympia really will not be home any more. Just last week, I got hired at Woods Coffee, at my dream location right on the water. The second and final confirmation. At the same time, my parents offer on their dream home got accepted, and they are moving out of my childhood home at the end of the month. My brother got a football scholarship to Western Oregon University and will soon start his journey into the real world. As I am moving forward in my adult life, so is my family. Going home will really not be going home anymore. I rejoice with my family in this time and they rejoice with me. We always knew this time of moving out and moving forward on my own was coming, and here it is. It has caused my steady stream of emotion to become a bit jumbled, but hey! This is life, it's an adventure and a journey. 

Even though I cried all the way to Bellingham today to start my training at Woods Coffee during my spring break, I am so happy! This time is exciting. I am living the dream and seeing Jesus at work in so many crazy, rad ways, and making amazing friendships and memories along the way. 

I am looking forward to this summer, immersed in community, making coffee by the water, and loving people. This is the life.

cover the night.

"But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth."


2 Timothy 4:17

We are called to make our voices known.

 I'm ready to continue fighting for justice and mercy.

so comes love...

let it go -- 
the smashed word 
broken, open vow
 or the oath cracked length 
wise -- let it go
 it 
was sworn to 
go 

let them go --
 the truthful liars and 
the false fair friends 
and the boths and 
neithers -- 
you must let them go 
they were born to 
go 

let all go --
 the big small middling 
tall bigger really 
the biggest and all 
things -- 
let all go 
dear 
so comes love” 
― E.E. Cummings